Back from New York

I've been slow on these posts namely because I've been (or attempting to) write other material for acting purposes (more on that some other time).  However, I did hear that one or two people still read the stuff I put out here, and it does keep the juices flowing to write about anything no matter how mundane the average person must find it.  I'll write more on LA later, perhaps leaving out the secret ins and outs of the 101 and other similarly scintillating material, but this entry will be more of a one off update type thing.

Los Angeles is a place full of transplants, but I think that most people that come to LA love LA more than the place where they came from, because the place that they came from comparably was not as exciting.  If you're a transplant here, you're usually (in my opinion and/or anecdotally speaking) more ambitious than most people, and probably wouldn't want to move back to where you were originally from.  As a result, I've come across many a transplant from Chicago, Seattle, Houston, Cleveland, etc. that very much prefer living in LA and I don't see moving back anytime soon.

The case is different for people who are from equally enticing cities or areas, or cities that are specialized towards exciting industries.  New York and San Francisco are such cities where people tend to stay because they excel in their opportunities in finance, fashion, art and technology.  Now before this degenerates into a NYC > LA post, I would like to say that I'm merely trying to parse through my own experiences moving to LA and the reasons why I believe it's been harder for me to embrace fully, even though I know that I will be here for the foreseeable future.  While I have seen people from NYC/SF fully enjoy being in LA, I do know that the people that most speak about moving back are the people from those cities.

I went back to New York this holiday season as I have every year since I moved to Los Angeles, and every time I think I believe I miss it less and less.  Did you just read that right?  Did I just say I miss New York less?  I still think that one day I'll move back, or at the very least have residences on both coasts, but I think part of it is because my personal connection to New York grows weaker every year.  I try of course to keep in touch with many people back home and meet up with as many people as I can when I'm around, but inevitably, life in New York moves at a pace that you can't really keep up with when you're gone.  Also, I did notice that it was getting into the teens this week in New York, you kind of feel that in your older age and your bones are creaking.

I realized that the reason why people from those other cities are able to embrace LA so readily is because many of their own contemporaries back home have already left their respective cities.  In some cases, I know that some people's own parents have joined them in the LA area.  It's easy to disassociate with home when there's nothing attaching you to it.  Close friends of mine have left or will be leaving New York soon, and that personal connection will be even more tenuous than ever.  You can miss a city sure, but if the people you enjoy being with in it are gone, it just becomes a hollow cathedral of loneliness.

But another thing I realized, and forgive me for the stream of consciousness like nature of this post, is that cities like LA, NYC, and SF, because of their high intensity, are cities with revolving doors and transient populations.  People will come and go and it's hard to have that "crew" that you'll always hang with up to your middle ages and beyond that's more possible in places where people stick around.  Even the people who stay in New York eventually get married with kids and move to the outskirts of LIC, Jersey City, Westchester, Connecticut, etc.  No one lives that "big city" lifestyle forever. 

That's why I've resolved to try to invest more in the relationships and the situations I'm in rather than fixating on its impermanence.  I think I've been trying so hard to keep my past life in New York and tie that in with my present life, but I think it's foolish to keep on doing so.  I'm starting to realize that I have to do some spring cleaning, figure out what to keep and what to throw out.