The first decade and a half of my life I was abnormally silent. As a baby, my older sister would used to cry 3 times a night. Me? I silently slept. I like sleeping.
During the early part of my life I mostly partook in antisocial activities such as comic books, card collecting, role playing video games and bicycle riding. I was very quiet. If you had asked me then what I thought of myself, I probably would have told you I was mostly a logical person, not really on the empathy and feeling side. I was wrong.
In high school I became more verbally expressive, vocally and literarily. I enjoyed and immersed myself in the books that I read, mostly the classics you read in English class, and the ones that struck me were the ones that had some poignant social and/or political commentary. I became interested in existentialism and self-expression, and during this time read the most influential book on my writing, "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser. (If you are pursuing any career in writing, I recommend giving it a read or two.) I suddenly had all these things bottled up that I wanted to say.
So I, like most of the teenage population during the early 2000s, started to write a blog. Before that I had never kept any journal before. The newb that I was, I thought much of what I wrote was gold. Some of it indeed was gold, but I cringe whenever I read entries that show my unoriginality and derivative thoughts, as well as the entries that were just plain embarrassing because I was an idiot teenager.
Strangely enough, now that I have entered my 30s, I feel old trying to keep up with the Gawkers, Buzzfeeds, Huffington Posts and the ever insidious Thought Catalogs of the world. But here I am, putting type to a keyboard, writing similar sludge you're about to digest. I guess maybe this blog isn't for you after all, but maybe it's for me, as a way for me to discipline myself into documenting my life.
Speaking of which, about the title of this blog, it has to do with the fact that I believe that I have been deferring a life of much more fulfillment that may have been possible in an alternative universe where I wasn't dicking around quite as much. This is me writing to try to remind myself to not do the dicking around quite so much.
I am admittedly not the best writer and probably still often overestimate my own writing abilities. Like most of what I do, it's what I have dabbled in as a dilettante, quickly absorbing what I needed to be competent, but not putting in nearly the amount of practice to become a master. My personal goal through this site is to become a better communicator, as writing is part of the career that I wish to pursue (albeit for entertainment). Any sort of practice is probably of some value.
So sit back and enjoy the justice.
Copyright © 2014. Douglas Kim. All rights reserved. Or whatever.